** (updated)

January 31, 2008 at 3:56 am (schooling)

update:  I emailed with Russell at Nota-Bene again and he’s informed me that he can order the 3.15mm pencil, but it will take 1-2 months for it to come in, which is just fine with me.  So Nota-Bene it is!!  I just can’t applaud their customer service enough!! 

I never did address the whole fountain pen thing in my last post.  Sophie has become quite fascinated with my pen.  So much so that I’ve been letting her write with it and she’s actually doing quite well.  Her handwriting has greatly improved but the Phileas is a little too “advanced” for her.  So I did some research (God Bless the Fountain Pen Network!) and found the Lamy ABC pen and pencil.  Apparently these are the school pen and pencil de rigueur in Europe and are for all intents and purposes not available in the US.

Bummer.

I did find a company in Canada, Papeterie Nota Bene, that carries the fountain pen and the 1.4mm pencil.  I want the 3.15mm pencil, but they do not carry that one.  I found the 3.15mm pencil at Skripta-Paris. 

That’s Paris, as in France… the country.

If I get the pen and pencil (with a pack of extra lead) from Skripta-Paris it ends up being just over 28 Euros.  Which is about $42. 

BEFORE shipping.

Just shipping is 22 Euros.  Which is nearly $33.  So a total of $75.

Grrrr.

If I order the pen and the pencil that I don’t like as much from Nota-Bene, it ends up being something like $55 CAD which is about the same in USD.  Shipping is like $12.  So a total of $67.

I’ve emailed with Russell at Nota-Bene and he’s impeccably nice, but I’m leaning towards ordering from the French company as it’s not appreciably more (Damn that shipping!!) in the long run and I’d get the pencil I think will be better for her hand.

Why me?  Why do I care?  I mean… why don’t I just get a big fat Ticonderoga and wrap tape around it to make it fatter?  Why don’t I do, as M suggested, and just buy her a graphite pencil and wrap the shaft so it’s less likely to break?

Because….

Sophie’s like me.  She’s enthralled with the “neatness” even the “beauty*” of the thing and that’s the thing she must have.  So if spending a ridiculous amount of money on a European pen and pencil will help her write, or make her want to write, then I think it’s money well spent.

* OK, so I realize the ABC isn’t a particularly pretty pen/pencil, but you must admit it’s an awfully neat looking thing!  The 3.15mm pencil can hold crayon “leads” too so I think it would be excellent for Sophie’s art work as well.  Russell at Nota-Bene counselled me against the 3.15 as it’s considered an art pencil in the US, not a writing pencil, but knowing Sophie that would be the better pencil for her.  My research also indicated that the European schools use the 3.15 because there’s much less lead breakage and it leads to a nicer (read distinctive) hand writing.  Whatever, we like it.  Now I’ve just got to rationalize spending the money on it. 

2 Comments

But Why?

January 30, 2008 at 8:17 pm (adventures, observations)

 *

I had to run some errands the other day, late in the day.  M had the boys with her while she set up the feed for the animals and Sophie, who had been having a bad day with her brothers, decided to come with me.  She loves to go into G’ville so once I told her that’s where we were going she was quite excited and we had to go through a whole to-do about she was going to wear (with the giraffe boots, the only shoes she’ll wear are the giraffe boots!) and how she was going to do her hair (2 horns, aka braids, or just loose hair which won out because I was running out of time!).  So we piled into the car and started off on our little adventure.

When I got on 85, I had one of those weird out of body moments where it felt like I was observing what was happening from outside the car.  I had brought our iPod and Sophie and I were singing Avril Lavigne’s Girlfriend (the clean version, but really we all know what she’s saying and speaking of that… how do the lyrics of the Kidz Bop one go?  I mean the radio version just beeps out the one word… how does Kidz Bop deal with the “what the Hell were you thinking?” lines??  Sorry, just got to wondering on that one).  Anyway, we were both belting it out and it was just one of those weird moments where everything was perfect (ok so admittedly, it could’ve been a better song, but let me finish my story) and I don’t know if Sophie thought so too, but she managed to catch my eye in the rear view mirror and gave me one of her million watt smiles. 

Did I mention it was Sunday?  Around 5:30 and the place we were wanting to go to closes at 6?  So anyway, we were hurrying and did manage to convince the girl at Petsmart that she couldn’t bar us from entering the store with 15 mins until closing and were able to pick up cat and dog food (and there was much rejoicing, and the cats laid down with the dogs and… I really shouldn’t eat ramen noodles while I’m typing, MSG man, it’s a drug).  On leaving I made a rash decision to go into Office Max to check out their ink situation and to see if they had any of the cheaper fountain pens** (this all concerns Sophie, just wait).  The staff were useless and the ream of paper that I toted all the way to the front is actually still there as the cashiers had already closed down their registers.  The store was still open at the time, I might add.  Most frustrating.

So anyway, on our way back to the car Sophie asked me why we didn’t get the paper, and I gave some bland response that offered no real explanation.  So she got in the car and I noticed she was wearing a particularly sulky expression so I asked what was wrong.  She responded with “you never explain why.  Sophie asks why and you never say.”

To say that I was blown away wouldn’t suffice.  I literally sat there for a moment and processed what had just happened before going into a long and detailed explanation of why stores close early on Sunday and how the practice started and so on.  It was a good 5 minute explanation and at the end she said “oh, ok” and that was it.

So since I was feeling that things were good, I decided to treat Sophie to a trip to the bookstore.  At first I thought I might have made a mistake.  Bookstores are like Candystores to Sophie.  She can’t get enough of them!!  So we went straight back to the kids section and she started prowling (because there is no other word for it) for a book.  She went through a couple maybes before settling on a Star Wars pop up book (a nearly $40 value!) and while I was quite fascinated with the book as well, I knew that realistically, it wouldn’t last an hour in our house with the boys.  So… as much as I wanted to get that book I decided to see if Sophie was still willing to compromise.  It went down something like this:

Me- Sophie do you really like that book?

S- Yes Mommy, it’s Star Works (she says Star Works, we can’t break her from it, she’s taught Xander to say it too).

Me- Yes I know, but it’s such a big book. 

S-  Yes, Sophie likes it.

Me-  Why?

S-  It has pictures and monsters!!

Me-  Can we read it?

S-  Ummm…..

Me-  Would you be able to carry it in the car?

S-  Ummm, Sophie really likes Star Works.

Me-  Oh I know, but I just thought you’d like a Star Wars book that you could carry in the car.  That big book is more like something you’d get for a birthday or Christmas… it’s not just a regular book.

S- Not a regular book?

Me- (acting disinterested) No, it’s a special book.

S- A special Sophie book?

Me- yeah, you know, one that you have to ask for and then wait… kinda like Santa Claus….

S-  Oh….

A long pause, where she continues clutching the book to her chest.

S- Um, Mommy ask lady for Star Works book?

Me- Why don’t you ask?

S- OK.  (and she does!!!  Do you believe it???)

Me-  So do you like this book?

S- it’s ok (said with a snarled nose).

Me-  It’s easier to carry in the car.

S- (no comment)

Me- and it’s cheaper than the other book.

S- (again no comment)

Me- so we could get ice cream if we got this (the smaller) book.

S-  Vanilla?  with chocolate chips and gummy bears?

Me-  Yeah, but it’s up to you.  (I walked away from her and watched her wrestle with the decision.  I think it was a close thing, but she put back the pop-up book and got the smaller Star Wars book instead).

So we left, like normal people, with no crying.  I think that’s a first.  Of course we went for ice cream (it’s across from the bookstore) and she was perfectly polite even after eating “trigger” foods.  M called during the ice cream outing and sent us to get supper from Whole Foods.  I had serious doubts that Sophie would maintain her good behaviour after ice cream, but thought what the heck… let’s try.

So… Whole Foods.  Why is it that WF is covered over on Sunday evenings?  Does this make sense to anybody?  And knowing that it’s going to so busy, why is it they only have 3 registers open???

I digress (blame it on the MSG).

Anyway, Sophie and I were discussing our grocery list.  It wasn’t much and I had her “remember” parts of it for me.  We had whole discussions on the merits of red versus yellow tomatoes (Sophie thought the yellow ones were too weird), whether Wellshire Farms bacon is better than WF’s brand and does anyone really like AppleWood bacon….  We got around to one of Sophie’s big triggers and I steeled myself for a meltdown.  The bistro in WF is one of Sophie’s favorite experiences and once we got to that end of the store she started angling to eat there.  When I said we weren’t eating there, she asked why.  So I explained that we were only picking up a few things so that we could make supper when we got home.  To which she asked why.  So I explained further that M didn’t want a big supper since lunch had been filling and that we were just going to have sandwiches for supper.  To which she asked why.  So I explained that all M really wanted was a bacon sandwich with chips.  To which she said ok.  And that was it.  No tears, no crying, just OK.

Weirded me out.

But I kept cool and we continued shopping, filling her little customer in training cart to the brink, only to discover that it had one of those trick wheels that made it careen into anyone nearby.  Honestly, that was some of the funniest dialogue of the whole evening as Sophie wrestled with her wayward cart!

Anyway.  While I was deciding on which combination of frozen fruit would make the best compote for Dandy I noticed that I was sans Sophie.  When I turned around, I found her pushing her cart with one hand, while daintily eating a choc. chip cookie.  I said- who said you could have a cookie?  she said- Sophie said Sophie could have a cookie. 

The self assured smirk was almost enough to make me laugh out loud, but instead I encouraged her to ask an adult next time so that she could get the cookie she really wanted (turns out she ended up with a pnut butter/choc chip and she’s not so fond of those) and she agreed that maybe that would be better.

So we queue up to leave.  Remember when I mentioned that there were only 3 registers open? 

Our line went back so far as the baby food aisle (which by way, Tina, I bought all of kids baby food too) which turns into the cosmetics aisle.  So since I had a feeling I was going to be there a while (and we were), I decided to make friends with the lady in front of me.  She was very nice, moving to Costa Rica, yada, yada, yada… then I noticed, no Sophie.  Again.

Turning around I see that she’s sitting up in one of the cosmetic chairs and from the distance I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but I noticed that she seemed to have an audience.

So I asked my new found friend to save my place and went to fetch Sophie.  As I got closer I heard this:

S-  … to brighten the brow, you want to add color…. oh…. umm… Hi Mommy.

M- Sophie, what are you doing?

Cosmetics Lady-  She’s been giving us an very good tutorial on how to wear makeup.

Me-  Oh really?

CL- yes, actually everything she said was spot on.

I smiled, collected Sophie.

CL-  By the way, I love your boots.

S- Thanks!  Aren’t they fabulous?

Really, I tried to act like this was normal, but I was somewhere between rolling my eyes and bawling!!  My little crazy girl, acting all normalish!  And where does she get this language and the prissy attitude? 

I don’t know… but I’m liking this talking fashion diva version of Sophie. 

*  Please ignore the clutter, I still had Sophie’s school books and pens and pencils all over the place.  And there was still paint splattered on the floor and yes those are Christmas decorations still on the wall.

3 Comments

Back to School

January 11, 2008 at 4:37 pm (schooling)

Sophie’s schooling has undergone some serious transitions this year.  We tried doing the Enki-Method, and I think it failed due to us getting the wrong grade level.  I tend to underestimate Sophie’s academic abilities and so opted for her to start with the K level when she should’ve gone to the G1.  She has been completely bored and resistant to pretty much anything from the Enki materials.  We’ve tried modifying to meet her needs, but the truth is, it just doesn’t work for us.  I was tempted to try the G1 curriculum, but it’s so dang expensive, that I’d hate to blow another couple $100 on something we’re not going to like using.

So we’ve gone back to “unschooling” as that has worked the best for us in the past.  By “unschooling” I mean that we allow her to follow her interests (currently dinosaurs) but she still does modified workbook work and things.  I’ve had the hardest time explaining how we do math with Sophie.  She only gets it from a practical standpoint.  Like why would you need to know that 3+9=12?  But she has no problem with me asking her how many more eggs does she need to fill the carton if I have 3 in my hand.  She can do that without even thinking… well at least some of the time.  She gets ill with me when I go over the top trying to come up with subtle ways to integrate her academics into her everyday life.  Some days I’m really good and she doesn’t actually realize that she’s been doing school for 4 hours.  Other days I get about 10 mins into my subterfuge and she’s on to me and her desire to cooperate totally evaporates.

I’ve had to really back up with a few things with Sophie.  I’ve had to go back to some K level things to try to work on her hand dexterity as she’s very awkward with her pencil and that makes her writing very difficult.  I tried explaining that to somebody recently, and they countered that Sophie paints and draws so she should have good dexterity, but the thing is when Sophie paints and draws she’s doing her own thing and doesn’t have to stay within the bounds of handwriting or even coloring in the lines.  So basically now she’s learning control, or more accurately, fine control.

Last night she and I did a coloring book page from her dinosaur coloring book.  Sophie’s required a lot of trail and error for me and I finally realized part of our problem with coloring books was simply that there are too many options when you open the book.  Most coloring books have at least 30 pages so think about all those options.  Sophie couldn’t focus on the page she was coloring for wanting to go to the next page, and the page after that and so on.  So, I’ve taken to deconstructing her coloring books and storing them in a manila envelope.  That was I can take out one page and she can color it without being distracted. 

So anyway, we were coloring last night and I noticed that she was becoming overwhelmed by the options on the page.  Should she color the big dinosaur or the little one?  what about the ground?  and that bush?  and the log?  and the sky???  what to do?  So I backed up and handed her the box of crayons and said “you color the big one and I’ll color the little one so what color is this dinosaur” and she handed me a color for each of the dinosaurs.  So then I noticed that she was getting overwhelmed again by the options on the dinosaur.  Should she color it’s head? its tail? its feet? its back??  So again I suggested “why don’t we just color in the tail?” and so we did and she was happy, then she noticed the head and started coloring it and when she finished that she stopped and said it was my turn so I colored in my dino’s head.  This continued all along the page with us moving from one little step to another until the picture was done.  I was very proud of her and she was very proud of herself!  I let her pic out a couple stickers and she picked ones just like the dinos in our picture and stuck them next to them on the page.  That little masterpiece is now proudly being displayed on our refridgerator!   I know it’s a small step, but it is a step and that’s a good thing!

I let her do the flip side of that coloring page too and she started getting bored with it about half way through… plus she was arguing with me over whether the picture was of a dinosaur or just of a fish.  She felt that it wasn’t a proper dinosaur and thus didn’t have to be done correctly.  After locking horns on it a couple times she did finish it carefully… I was glad to see that she reeled in her attitude and actually did finish the assigned work, even though she disagreed with it.  We’ve had issues in the past with Sophie making an effort to compromise… so seeing her compromise just this little bit was refreshing.

4 Comments

Stuff

January 7, 2008 at 5:59 pm (Arghhhh!!, observations, the daily do)

I never got around to that Christmas post and now I don’t feel like doing one… so just go back to the other blog for pictures and updates on that.

The insurance issue has gotten really out of hand.  Apparently there is a major uproar with the hospital and Western Union as just about everyone has had disruption of coverage.  I’m supposed to call and talk to someone and see what can be done (or at least have my complaint documented).  My problem is.. I don’t know how much of this is a problem with the insurance or just a common problem for parents with ASD kids.  ASD isn’t reknown for being covered by most insurance companies… but I keep hearing people say that they’ve heard from a friend of a friend of a cousin of a boyfriend (you get the idea) that there’s new legislation that’s supposed to help ASD families… only trouble is that I can’t find anyone who can tell me definititively about it.  I’ve called so many people… and most of them are like “well, we’d like to help, but you’re not actually a client of ours so… sorry!” and I’m sent on my merry way. 

So how do I find out what the heck I’m even supposed to be doing?  At this point we can’t afford for Sophie to even go back to Dr. Kelly as the insurance is saying that seeing him doesn’t positively effect Sophie’s diagnosis so it’s not a necessary visit.  Plus the whole thing with therapy just isn’t working out either… again insurance is saying that since Sophie can’t be “cured” from her ASD/PDD diagnosis then there’s no “need” for her to do therapy. 

I think this has been the root of my Christmas Melancholy.  I just feel like I’m beating my head against a wall and I literally can’t find a way to stop.

And most of me just wants to stop all this madness and say “yeah, she’s different, maybe even PDD/ASD… so what? who cares?  she’s learning, she’s coping, she’s learning life skills!  Heck she can bake a cake pretty much by herself!! doesn’t that count for SOMETHING???”

As I told Dr. Kelly the last time I saw him… I’m cracking… I really am.  Sophie’s doing great, the boys are doing great… but now we’ve got what looks like insurmountable issues (between figuring out if we should still send Sophie to therapy and figuring out how on God’s Green Earth we’d pay for it and fighting with insurance and trying to figure out the secret trick to making all of this work, and did I mention that Jim’s a real laissez-faire kinda guy?  so he’s not really in the trenches here with me… I’m not bashing him, I’m just stating that he doesn’t have that she-bear fight that I have (and really I’d be surprised for a man to have she-bear instincts)… regardless I’d like to lay down the armor for a minute, have a pity me moment and then move on, but I can’t because who’s going to hold the fort while I do that?)

OK!  Enough of that… this is Sophie’s blog, not an extention of “oh-pity-me!”

Sophie… Sophie… yeah… Sophie… she’s doing great :)   She’s started doing art again, although she’s doing her most creative stuff with photography.  I’ve really enjoyed looking through her photos and will be uploading them here soon.  Maybe even today.  Don’t hold your breath though.

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